How to Spot an Abuser Clue #12: Emotional Immaturity
Imagine if you could spot an abuser on a first or second date.
What if you could already tell if s/he is a would-be abuser? If you know what to look for, you can!
One telltale sign is the abuser’s alloplastic defenses – a tendency to blame every mistake on others, every failure, or mishap on others or on the world at large. You know, the blame game? Everything is someone else's fault? Not taking responsibility? According to research, this is a common abuser trait.
Use the following assessment checklist to find out:
Does s/he admit their faults and miscalculations?
Does s/he keep blaming you, the cab driver, the waiter, the weather, the government or fortune for their predicament?
Is s/he hypersensitive, picks fights, feels constantly slighted, injured and insulted?
Does s/he rant incessantly?
Does s/he treat animals and children impatiently or cruelly?
Does s/he express negative and aggressive emotions towards the weak, the poor, the needy, the sentimental, and the disabled?
Does s/he confess to having a history of battering or violent offenses or behavior?
Is her/his language vile and infused with expletives, threats, and hostility?
Does s/he assume personal responsibility?
If so, it's time to go! Take it from me, it is only going to get worse. You can count on that. Research shows abusers follow patterns aka predictable cycles of violence.
Not sure? Reach out to The National Hotline for Domestic Violence for help: Know that our advocates are here to support you every step of the way with a sympathetic hear and zero judgment. They are available 24/7/365 and interactions are completely free and confidential. http://www.thehotline.org/
If someone isn't treating you with the respect you deserve, you can start by respecting yourself and reaching out. Believe me, once you break free your life will be so much better.
May you be happy, healthy, safe and at peace.
Please leave your comments below. I'd love to hear from you! Jackie