A New Adult Novel
Urge OverKill Sneak Peek
Out of the Frying Pan
Dear Mx Reader,
Maybe you are like I was, in thinking that your story isn’t dramatic enough. That it somehow isn’t really that big a deal. “There are so many stories that are so much worse.” Right? Of course there are. Much worse. But where did it start? Don’t miss it! That’s my point!
Do we need to be bloodied, broken, hospitalized – or even dead – for it to be a big enough deal? Sometimes, I think maybe if it had been worse for me, it would’ve made it easier to bounce, right?
I wish someone had given me this message when a hater was bringing me down. You know, the abuser type? I still can’t believe I ended up with one. I want my story to empower you to speak out. Don’t wait until it’s too late. Believe me, it’s just going to get worse. Do yourself a favor and get out now.
How many of us have hidden verbal bullying from friends and family because we don’t want to be accused of being too sensitive or soft? Or overreacting? Or, god forbid, ratting someone out! Snitches get stitches. Or worse. This is when we should yell stop! It took me a while to figure this out.
And me? When it all went down, I’d already worked a couple years doing crisis intervention and was working as a therapist and as a social worker. Dammit, I did yoga, read self-help books, expanded my spirituality and lived communally. I thought I had become the master of my own destiny. Even after all the training at the domestic violence and rape shelter.
I still didn’t see it coming.
And what was my part in it? What did I bring to the table from my life? This is why I’m writing Urge Overkill. And it isn’t easy.
I’ve learned that I don’t need to be ashamed of my story. And you don’t need to feel guilty if it happens to you. I know, that can be a tall order. Repeat after me, It’s not my fault.
Of course, that’s easier said than done, and all that shit. It doesn’t matter if you’re 18 or 80, don’t sit by and excuse it. Yeah, I learned that one the hard way. I believed it all along, deep down, but came to know it from the experience. I had to hear it when I was ready to act. Aren’t we finding that our voices need to be heard now? That’s the point of the #me too movement, right?
Oh, and then there was this. Did you know that allowing abuse is also unhealthy for the abuser, not just for us? Believe it! Most abuser types were themselves bullied by someone. In therapist talk: when we deny our experience and protect our abusers, the cycle of abuse repeats. For us. And them.
Have you seen the meme, don’t be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others? For those who silently suffer, I want you to know that no one deserves emotional or physical abuse. Don’t trivialize abuse, aka let it slide, in any form.
When it starts, that’s a red flag.
So tell your best friend. Your mom. Your dad. Your sibling. Your professor. Whoever. But speak up! If they don’t listen, try someone else. Keep going until you actually get help. You deserve it!
You’re not alone. I got you.
Transcending Trauma: Yoga, Meditation and Best Practices for Healing
"This is a story of subtle violence and degradation, starting with innocuous-seeming verbal put-downs. A cautionary tale told with insight and humor. No one is strong enough to be immune. This is an important book."
-Jan Kardys, Black Hawk Literary Agency.
Jackie Jackson started writing at age 7 when she kept diaries and created books with drawings using folded paper stapled up the side. She continues these rituals to this day but the latter is done online. She has written for newspapers and magazines. She lives with her beloved family which includes: her husband, her two teenage sons and their dog Louie.