How To Spot an Abuser: Clue #6 Killjoy

In your relationship do you find that your partner takes away your joy? Does this person find you in a good mood only to try and squelch it? Say you’ve got that job promotion and are ready to celebrate only to have them be angry or start a fight with you? Does it feel like they are threatened by your success?

That happened to me when I was 25. I got the promotion, had 22 employees to oversee and was enjoying the growth experience of my expanded role.

Having a partner who doesn’t applaud your success or share in your happiness is a sure sign that this person is a killjoy and may be hurting your mental health. If that seems to be the case, you may be in an unhealthy relationship. You deserve a partner that wants what is best for you. Think of how much happier you would be with someone who is supportive and uplifting!

If you answered ‘yes’ to even one of these questions, you may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship.

It’s unlikely you will prevent abusive people from eventually showing up in your life in some way, shape or form. And the I want to validate you that experiences like these, with this type of person is very real and toxic. This is not to cause fear but awareness they can can be deadly, so the altercations should never be ignored.

No need to resign yourself to living in anxiety and apprehension. Abusers behave like they do because they are sad and empty inside. It is likely they were drawn to you because you are not, which is probably why you were targeted.

Personally, I found my abusive person was in my life for longer than I wanted but I learned that didn’t need to get me down. Instead, I shifted my focus an got busy shining brighter at work with my new team who looked up to me. All the while, I made plans to move out and start a new life. I decided to just put one foot in front of the other as I made my way out the door, both literally and figuratively.

My goal each day was to do the next best thing I could do each day. I had to get a new job, move my things cross country and set up a new, better living situation. When that pitiful, abusive person tried to pull stunts I said to myself, “You? Still?” and then get right back to the fulfilling part of my life.

Confused? Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help (1–800–799–7233) if anything you read raises a red flag about your own relationship or that of someone you know. Click here for the website: http://www.thehotline.org/

For more info on the red flags of unhealthy relationships and the green flags of healthy ones visit me here: https://theyogascribe.wixsite.com/mysite

Please leave a comment below or connect! I’d love to hear from you. May you be happy, healthy, safe and at peace. Jackie