How to Spot an Abuser: Clue #2 Jealousy
Did you know October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month? Rather than try to escape a bad relationship once it has begun, what if we could spot and stop abuser types beforehand?
In my book Urge Overkill: A Story of Breaking Free, I looked back and noticed it seemed all of my ex's abusive behavior stayed hidden below the surface of their six month courtship. It didn't start until we began living together. This important clue didn't surface until me had moved far away from our hometown, but it came up pretty quick once they did.
Clue #2: Acting jealous or possessive, accusing you of being with other partners.
Within two weeks of my ex's moving out west to be with me, he became incensed one night when another man tried to kiss me. His rage was not directed at the other man who crossed the line but squarely placed on my shoulders. It was the volume and intensity of his yelling that shocked me most. The next day a girlfriend thought his reaction was sweet, like a sign of affection. Deep down it disturbed me.
From then on, his jealousy and monitoring became consistent and stifling. So much that in time I'd often give up accepting certain social invitations to avoid the incessant scrutiny.
For crisis and counseling services, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Hotline advocates are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 365 days a year to provide confidential crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands.
May you be happy, healthy, safe and at peace.
For more info on the red flags of unhealthy relationships and the green flags of healthy ones visit me here: https://theyogascribe.wixsite.com/mysite
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